wishing i could take back the affection i’ve given
I guess I came to the conclusion tonight that I’m kind of a whore. I guess I hide it well if you don’t really know me but if you’re my close friend, you’ll realize that I’m kind of a slut. I have made out with roughly 28 people from my highschool freshmen year to my college freshmen year. I lost my virginity at 18 but I have managed to sleep with 5 people from then to now, I’m 19. I don’t know why I did it. I guess I just really didn’t give a shit. The guy I lost my virginity too was the next guy I dated after I was dumped by the first guy I ever fell in love with. So I guess I did it just to cope, or try to attempt to feel something, it’s all fucked up. None of the guys I’ve had sex with really mattered to me. They never really will either. And now I’m just stuck here wishing I was still a virgin. Or at least I didn’t have as many sexual partners as I have now in so little time. I’m ashamed. I never want this for my future kids.
